stories from vent

[pano]

At least Betty thinks I'm erotic.

[img2:21hppq0e]http://wunderflax.files.wordpress.com/2 ... ue-out.jpg[/img2:21hppq0e]

[Sobchak]

salo: lol
salo: i wish condoms were free
salo: or
salo: STDs didn't exist and impregnation was
salo: like
salo: willpower related
salo: haha

[isgrelindisguise]

salo_pano on the history of Australia:

salo: the Poms were actually pretty slow to colonise this place
salo: first the Dutch came
salo: and they were all
salo: "It's a bit hot"
salo: then the French came
salo: and they were all
salo: "We can't grow wine here"
salo: then the Poms came
salo: and thought
salo: "Yep, this place is a prison"

Also because this thread is fkn dead.

[Darth Snuggles]

[quote=""isgrelindisguise""]salo_pano on the history of The Future:

salo: the Poms were actually pretty slow to colonise this place
salo: first the Dutch came
salo: and they were all
salo: "It's a bit hot"
salo: then the French came
salo: and they were all
salo: "We can't grow wine here"
salo: then the Poms came
salo: and thought
salo: "Yep, this place is a prison"

Also because this thread is Tickle my sphincter dead.[/quote]

[pano]

salo DOMINATING stories from vent. :]

[Sigmarsson]

*** You have been reconnected to the server ***
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'fallenchicken' has joined the chat.
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'Sobchak' has joined the chat.
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'Sobchak' has left the chat.

Really?

[fallenchicken]

laptop opens, laptop closes, laptop opens...

[pano]

Butterfly laptop is trolling Sigmar.

[Sigmarsson]

'eeebadfo' has joined the chat.
eeebadfo: Porn & Teller: Now You See It, Now You Don't
eeebadfo: Cris A-hole: Mindfuck
eeebadfo: Sig Fucks a Boy (weak play on Siegfried & Roy)
eeebadfo: I think these are golden
eeebadfo: Also, David Copperfuck
salo: what
salo: WAT
eeebadfo: yup
salo: Sig, why did you fuck a boy?
eeebadfo: He's curious
eeebadfo: about taking a good dicking
salo: it's not gay if you're the pitcher
salo: ... I hear
eeebadfo: It's only gay if you're gay
eeebadfo: Otherwise it's just two guys enjoying sex
salo: in ancient Rome it was cool if you fucked anybody, but if you were the dude getting bummed by another dude you were a depraved creature
salo: crazy Romans
salo: Bring me a sex slave
eeebadfo: Romans all like
eeebadfo: "i want ur butt"
eeebadfo: "on my penis"
eeebadfo: "errrrrr"
eeebadfo: They orgasmed weirdly
eeebadfo: "errrr"
salo: hahaha
salo: thanks for explaining that part
salo: I was lost
eeebadfo: Just like the Roman semen recepticles
salo: WAT R U IMPLYIN
eeebadfo: They were frequently confused due to head trauma from being banged against headboards all day
salo: nice save
eeebadfo: Just like the Roman semen recepticles
salo: frrrrrk
salo: DONT
salo: say it
eeebadfo: I won't say anything
eeebadfo: Just like the Roman semen recepticles
salo: you playing Wow?





My face when I came back from being AFK and saw this on vent

[spoiler:d4hipvp4][/spoiler:d4hipvp4]

[Pewps]

Roman semen receptacles?

[pano]

Qual references in that STORY.

I'm waiting for this comment to be misconstrued.

[Qual]

How dare you call me a Roman semen receptacle!?

[PeepsMcJuggs]

Oh Lordy...my 20 month old son is staring at me cuz I'm laughing so hard!

[Sigmarsson]

[quote=""PeepsMcJuggs""]Oh Lordy...my 20 month old son is staring at me cuz I'm laughing so hard![/quote]

At one point do you start saying oh my son is a year and 8 months old? Or were you going to keep saying it until he's 40 months old

[PeepsMcJuggs]

[quote=""Sigmarsson""][quote=""PeepsMcJuggs""]Oh Lordy...my 20 month old son is staring at me cuz I'm laughing so hard![/quote]

At one point do you start saying oh my son is a year and 8 months old? Or were you going to keep saying it until he's 40 months old[/quote]

2 years. When they start measuring his clothing sizes in years and not months.

[isgrelindisguise]

salo_pano on Australian Soccer:

salo: I wouldn't wish a game of A-League on anyone
salo: I watched half a game on tv on the weekend
Snuggles: lol
Snuggles: masochist
salo: had to turn it off
salo: so bad
salo: hurr durr kick @ goalie
salo: hurr durr kick @ defender
salo: OVER AND OVER

[isgrelindisguise]

'A Sneaky Ithorian' has joined the chat.
A Sneaky Ithorian: MAN SO THIS VIDEOGAME IS ALL KINDS OF AWESOME
salo: fuck
Sobchak: shit on you.
salo: dont you spoil anything, grel
salo: DONT U FKN SPOIL
A Sneaky Ithorian: It didn't come with nightwing
A Sneaky Ithorian: it did come with robin
salo: 8====D
A Sneaky Ithorian: I havent heard anything about nightwing
salo: YEAH WELL WE GOT TO PLAY SWTOR
Sobchak: *high five*
salo: that highfive was so elitist I got a boner

[Sobchak]

fallenchicken: Because 18 year old girls make great mothers
eeebadfo: totes
fallenchicken: and children aren't like, the biggest cause of poverty in this country
Sobchak: Respectfully disagree, I think no money is the biggest cause actually chicken.
eeebadfo: He has a point
eeebadfo: counter?
fallenchicken: Well
fallenchicken: That's subjective
Sobchak: so's your face, bitch
eeebadfo: Case closed
fallenchicken: I WILL FUCKING EAT YOU

[badfo]

Wow, I completely steal the scene in that one.

[Sigmarsson]

Vent stories are rarely good if ebado isnt somehow involved.

[badfo]

eeebadfo: that's one of the creepiest avatars ever
Sobchak: I want to pee in Whitney Cummings's butt.
Sobchak: yeah it is.
Sobchak: it's like a pug and a human had a baby
eeebadfo: is that a punishment or something she's supposed to like?
eeebadfo: or likely both?
Sobchak: girls love that
eeebadfo: do you shove urinal cakes up it as foreplay?
Sobchak: nah just my wiener.
eeebadfo: a man of tradition
Sobchak: I'm ols dAHIONWS
Sobchak: lol
Sobchak: old fashioned
Sobchak: wasn't looking at the computer
eeebadfo: Ols da'Hionws was a famous explorer
eeebadfo: I thought maybe that was your halloween costume or something
Sobchak: lol
Sobchak: He sounds famous
Sobchak: probably one of those faggy dutch!
eeebadfo: He had an illustrious career
eeebadfo: Discovered Cleveland
eeebadfo: ultimately undone by his scurvy fetish, though
Sobchak: well fuck him then
Sobchak: America would be better off if no one had discovered Cleveland
Sobchak: we just discovered around it
Sobchak: and someone was like "No, don't go in there"
eeebadfo: Yeah, Ols was a bit of an asshole like that

[isgrelindisguise]

grel feedin' salo's ego.

salo: we had lots of sex while you were gone
salo: just so you know
salo: I wasn't here talking to myself at all
A Sneaky Ithorian: I can imagine you having sex multiple times while I was gone. A quick performance followed by a quick recovery.
salo: I'm like Wolverine and the Flash's gaybaby
salo: huehue no friction burns hue
salo: :[

[Sobchak]

This is for bado's answering machine.

eeebadfo: tired
'eeebadfo' has left the chat.
Sobchak: Henchmen aren't allowed to sleep.

[isgrelindisguise]

Sobchak writes an Essay:

Sobchak: http://i.imgur.com/HW3mZ.jpg haha
Sobchak: sorry.
A Sneaky Ithorian: thats pretty dum
A Sneaky Ithorian: but I'd have sex with the white girl in the background
Sobchak: ahha
Sobchak: I'd rub my wiener on that house.
Sobchak: you would too
Sobchak: don't play
A Sneaky Ithorian: I'd like to have a house some day.
Sobchak: they're overrated
Sobchak: fuck. Hitting a wall on this essay. Might have to sleep it off and skip lecture in the morning.
A Sneaky Ithorian: lul
A Sneaky Ithorian: whats it on?
Sobchak: How revolutionary americans were hypocrites bitching about freedom while still enslaving blacks
Sobchak: it's literally ONLY 750 words
Sobchak: with the source material in front of me
A Sneaky Ithorian: lol
Sobchak: but I just... am getting super distracted
A Sneaky Ithorian: find another source
Sobchak: nah all the sources are good.
A Sneaky Ithorian: talk about any aboltionist movements as a counter argument then defute it
Sobchak: I don't think I even need counter arguments, lol.
Sobchak: This essay is that easy.
A Sneaky Ithorian: except you hit a wall
Sobchak: cuz I'm lazy and easily distracted
A Sneaky Ithorian: take a shower
A Sneaky Ithorian: that always helps me refocus
Sobchak: Same, but I already took one.
A Sneaky Ithorian: slap your dick against a house
Sobchak: lol
Sobchak: It's a really solid half-essay
Sobchak: I think it'd be cool to write like a REALLY REALLY good essay
Sobchak: like easily an A+ essay
Sobchak: but have the title be something like "Queef Hunter"
A Sneaky Ithorian: lol
Sobchak: and see how hard it gets dinged

[Darth Snuggles]

'eeebadfo' has joined the chat.
eeebadfo: noooooo
'eeebadfo' has left the chat.