stories from vent

[Sigmarsson]

[quote=""Lady Gettyburg""]Sigmarsson: unless you leave without saying goodbye


*** You have been disconnected from the server ***[/quote]

That wasn't funny.

[Sigmarsson]

'ebado' has joined the chat.
ebado: Sigfk
'ebado' has left the chat.
Sigmarsson: nop

[isgrelindisguise]

Grel takes a bit of a nap while in vent:

'A Sneaky Ithorian' has joined the chat.
'ebado' has joined the chat.
ebado: A sneaky gelthoria
'ebado' has left the chat.
'salo' has joined the chat.
salo: I watched a girl pee last night
'salo' has left the chat.

[pano]

I regret nothing.

[isgrelindisguise]

I'll trade you a sexually forward pierced nipples girl story for a girl peeing story.

[Sigmarsson]

'Sigmarsson' has joined the chat.
'Snuggles' has joined the chat.
Sigmarsson: fuck
'Snuggles' has left the chat.
Sigmarsson: good fucking riddance

[Lady Gettyburg]

[quote=""Sigmarsson""]'Sigmarsson' has joined the chat.
'Snuggles' has joined the chat.
Sigmarsson: fuck
'Snuggles' has left the chat.
Sigmarsson: good fucking riddance[/quote]

Awwww...

She broke your heart right there and in a juvenile attempt to keep your ego intact you want to show the world that you dont give a shit.

[Sigmarsson]

[quote=""Lady Gettyburg""][quote=""Sigmarsson""]'Sigmarsson' has joined the chat.
'Snuggles' has joined the chat.
Sigmarsson: fuck
'Snuggles' has left the chat.
Sigmarsson: good fucking riddance[/quote]

Awwww...

She broke your heart right there and in a juvenile attempt to keep your ego intact you want to show the world that you dont give a shit.

[/quote]

You dont know me.

[Ethite]

[quote=""Sigmarsson""][quote=""Lady Gettyburg""][quote=""Sigmarsson""]'Sigmarsson' has joined the chat.
'Snuggles' has joined the chat.
Sigmarsson: fuck
'Snuggles' has left the chat.
Sigmarsson: good fucking riddance[/quote]

Awwww...

She broke your heart right there and in a juvenile attempt to keep your ego intact you want to show the world that you dont give a shit.

[/quote]

You dont know me.[/quote]

Its ok, Betty is really dyslexic. What she meant to say was this:

[quote=""Lady Gettyburg""]

Awwww...

A juvenile attempt to break your heart, but you kept your ego intact because you showed the world you don't give a shit.

[/quote]

[Sobchak]

salo: shiiiiiit
salo: explode
salo: done.
salo: sweet finale
Sobchak: What show?
fallenchicken: Gilmore Girls
Sobchak: Rad
Sobchak: I love how they overcome obstacles.

[fallenchicken]

salo: I think Po and Tigress are gonna
salo: y'know
salo: inter-species
salo: k fine
salo: be freaked out by that
salo: but know this
salo: love, no matter it's form, is always beautiful!
salo: *weeping*
fallenchicken: Salo, i aint freaked about by that
fallenchicken: I am the guy that thinks of all the animals bran can use to have sex with froggirl
salo: lol
salo: Snuggles feigns disgust, but we all know that she's the REAL furry round these parts.
fallenchicken: She's just used to having to hide it
fallenchicken: She doens't understand she doesn't have to hide it from us
salo: not from us
salo: no sir
salo: we're not judgers
fallenchicken: Darlin please we are one in the same
salo: I just winked at you
salo: this fukken fortified wine
fallenchicken: I felt it
fallenchicken: is it good?
salo: making me sleazy all up in hurr
salo: yeah
fallenchicken: Winking at a computer screen
salo: I wanted it to put me to sleep
fallenchicken: Is this conversation even happening?
salo: and I can feel it's power
fallenchicken: Maybe you are asleep
salo: oh shit
fallenchicken: Yep
salo: damn
fallenchicken: Deal with that
salo: well
salo: since I'm dreaming
salo: I guess there's no repercussions for telling you
salo: I love you
salo: always have, always will
fallenchicken: I love salsa pinball machines -- How I would respond if this were a dream
salo: not in a gay way, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't consider sex
fallenchicken: Sometimes, in the dark of night, I consider it.
fallenchicken: I full on consider it.
salo: full on!
fallenchicken: All the way on.
salo: one more glass and I'll be anybody's
salo: except Sigmarsson's
salo: I don't trust that guy with my body
fallenchicken: That would take (3) more glasses
salo: He'd use it wrong
fallenchicken: And you'd have to be asleep
salo: or dead
salo: prob dead
fallenchicken: Somewhere in between
salo: lol
fallenchicken: You'd have to be in a legal coma
salo: like, the doctor would have to have said
salo: that
salo: I'm coma'd
salo: yes, it's a verb, what of it?
salo: to coma someone
fallenchicken: And after some odd string of events somehow sigmar would end up with the nightshift of watching over you
fallenchicken: It would be a failure on selkath's part
salo: oh jeeze
salo: not the night shift!
salo: this is Kill Bill all over again
fallenchicken: lol
fallenchicken: Sigmar just sits in the chair, watching the clock
fallenchicken: At 2 am, he tells himself. Wait til l2
salo: he would sicken me, but I'm coma'd
fallenchicken: He puts your coma into a coma
fallenchicken: Double comas
fallenchicken: You're going to deep!
salo: frrrrk
salo: limbo
fallenchicken: Crazy Russian bitch
salo: I don't wanna be here, thinks salo
salo: BWOOON
fallenchicken: We send a team in. Unfortuantly sigmar somehow wound up on the team, we have no idea what he did
fallenchicken: He is in here to cover his tracks
salo: Sigmar has coma'd the right people
salo: there can be no doubt
fallenchicken: He's smart, he's done this before
salo: where do his coma powers come from?
fallenchicken: You know that movie The Coma Crashers? Based on him.
salo: Coma Crashers 2 was a letdown
salo: another time
fallenchicken: They just recycled the same coma jokes
fallenchicken: I'm going to post this in stories from vent, FYI, because I enjoyed it. I'll change sig's name to Sig002 so nobody gets offended
salo: good move
salo: *taps nose*
fallenchicken: I decided I'm not going to change his name.

[pano]

NOW! For Coma Crashers 2!


fallenchicken: I like the part about the comas
salo: The coma part was good
salo: "I decided I'm not going to change his name."
fallenchicken: Too much work for sig's feelings
salo: agrelled
salo: does he even have any?
fallenchicken: Hopefully he will feel the disdain seeping from the story.
salo: hat would be lucky indeed
salo: oops!
salo: I said hat instead of that
'Sigmarsson' has joined the chat.
fallenchicken: wtf
salo: woah
Sigmarsson: ogm
fallenchicken: Is this a dream
salo: speak of the devil we were just speaking of
Sigmarsson: what
fallenchicken: *deletes story from vent*
salo: you shut up, demon!
Sigmarsson: im just here for the bitches
fallenchicken: lol
fallenchicken: I took years of dream security training
fallenchicken: Don't fuck with me, foul beast
Sigmarsson: ya but i went a level deeper
salo: oh jeeze
salo: he's a pro
Sigmarsson: i got a hickey on my neck
fallenchicken: He's a sick human
fallenchicken: WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO US?
salo: sicker than any mammal ought to be
salo: can we...
salo: euthanize?
fallenchicken: I never thought i'd say this
salo: Is that legal in Canada?
fallenchicken: But I think we should kill him.
fallenchicken: We could do it in a way that we wouldn't get caught
salo: sure we could
salo: I've seen CSI
fallenchicken: Right
fallenchicken: Dont fuck him after
salo: I know not to leave any DNA behind
fallenchicken: They'll find the semen
salo: I genuine lol'd at dont fuck him after
salo: fucken CSI killers
salo: who are they kidding?
fallenchicken: I think it's a pretty obvious rule
salo: THEY WILL NEVER LEARN
fallenchicken: Surely someone has written down before
Sigmarsson: hey
Sigmarsson: when im over at my gfs we watch those smart shows like csi
Sigmarsson: we know the ways
salo: Spawn of Satan!
Sigmarsson: you cant hide my body
salo: lol, classic Sig; gets a woman and now can't shut up about her
salo: whip cracking noises!
fallenchicken: I bet she is a succubus
Sigmarsson: well of course im proud of it
fallenchicken: A succubus and a demon
salo: a match made in
salo: ...
salo: HELL!
fallenchicken: I was going to say Match.com
Sigmarsson: no i met her at the pub
salo: pube**
salo: LOL!
fallenchicken: lol!
salo: how old is she?
Sigmarsson: children
fallenchicken: Are pubs the girl versions of bars?
salo: 65 you say?
Sigmarsson: 34
fallenchicken: ew
salo: that's almost half of what I said
salo: which still makes me right
Sigmarsson: ya you were pretty close
fallenchicken: Are you serious?
Sigmarsson: why would i lie
fallenchicken: Does she read you bed time stories at night?
Sigmarsson: she fucks me at night
fallenchicken: Push you on the swings at the park
salo: what does she do at day?
Sigmarsson: works at shaw cable
salo: sounds fake
Sigmarsson: its a internet company
fallenchicken: she sleeps during the day
Sigmarsson: cable tv
salo: I'm poking holes in your story
fallenchicken: In. her. coffin.
salo: Sig
fallenchicken: we're just kidding
fallenchicken: I'm sorry
salo: Listen to me very carefully
fallenchicken: But she might be a succubus vampire
Sigmarsson: she did bite my neck last night
salo: while wearing a necklace of garlic
salo: you need to stab her through the heart with a wooden stake
Sigmarsson: she had a bowl of garlic in the kitchen
salo: that was a ruse
Sigmarsson: mustve been
salo: all vampires pull that one
fallenchicken: Of course she did! I bet she had a mirror in the bathroom to
salo: HAH!
salo: fake mirror
fallenchicken: lol
fallenchicken: Photoshopped
fallenchicken: Clever succubus
Sigmarsson: i look really good in her mirror
salo: well there's your proof
fallenchicken: You're under he spell
Sigmarsson: now that i think about ti
fallenchicken: She's glamored you
salo: ^
Sigmarsson: i didnt see her reflection in the mirror next to mine
fallenchicken: Because she is
fallenchicken: not real?
fallenchicken: BAM
Sigmarsson: she put on her lacey underwear for me last night
salo: or
salo: OR
salo: Sig has tunnel vision
fallenchicken: Did she take out denchers?
fallenchicken: lol
Sigmarsson: dentures
salo: chicken, we'll get to the bottom of this
Sigmarsson: we made a joke about that actually, gummy blowjobs
salo: we?
Sigmarsson: her and I
salo: chicken, I'm getting worried
salo: she's starting to leech his psyche
Sigmarsson: ive been over at her place everynight
salo: he doesn't know what's him and what's her
Sigmarsson: we usually watch the home garden network, she likes that channel
Sigmarsson: we had sex to AVP on Sunday
fallenchicken: Oh my god your dating my grandma
salo: anything's better than watching AVP
salo: (lol)
Sigmarsson: I just wanted her to see the predator with the cape
Sigmarsson: anyway I must get ready for work
fallenchicken: Is she the sushi woman?
salo: that's his hair, you fuqqen racist
Sigmarsson: no I took her to Montanas
fallenchicken: lol
Sigmarsson: she is the delicious vagina woman
salo: that's a gay name
Sigmarsson: its an inside joke
salo: from now on we call her Toby
Sigmarsson: Toby it is
fallenchicken: lol
Sigmarsson: okay must leave now bye
fallenchicken: Bye
'Sigmarsson' has left the chat.
fallenchicken: Succubus fucker.
salo: soulless cretin
fallenchicken: Him joining was obviously the work of the devil
salo: There can be no doubt.

[Qual]

[quote=""salo_pano""]
fallenchicken: But I think we should kill him.
fallenchicken: We could do it in a way that we wouldn't get caught
salo: sure we could
salo: I've seen CSI
fallenchicken: Right
fallenchicken: Dont fuck him after
[/quote]
Pissed myself laughing.

[Cappa-Phi]

Fuggen gold.

[Lady Gettyburg]

[quote=""Qual""][quote=""salo_pano""]
fallenchicken: But I think we should kill him.
fallenchicken: We could do it in a way that we wouldn't get caught
salo: sure we could
salo: I've seen CSI
fallenchicken: Right
fallenchicken: Dont fuck him after
[/quote]
Pissed myself laughing. [/quote]

Moar like Jizzed yourself pissing

[Qual]

[quote=""Lady Gettyburg""]Moar like Jizzed yourself pissing[/quote]
Creative, yet presumably difficult. Will try ASAP.

[isgrelindisguise]

Snuggles: oh, oh man thats a little worrying
Snuggles: qual implies he has wacked off over someones sister
Snuggles: :s
A Sneaky Ithorian: lol probs salos
Snuggles: thats my first thought
salo: ...
A Sneaky Ithorian: they dated, didnt they?
salo: lol
salo: LOL!

[Qual]

Grel...

[Darth Snuggles]

Snuggles: you'd like him salo, he is lankier than you
salo: quals lankier than me and I dont like him!
Snuggles: im telling qual
salo: fine







I really wish I'd posted that one about your orifices.

[Qual]

[quote=""Darth Snuggles""]Snuggles: you'd like him salo, he is lankier than you
salo: quals lankier than me and I dont like him!
Snuggles: im telling qual
salo: fine
[/quote]
*dawson*

[Lady Gettyburg]

Darth Betty: i must be frank and admit that i have dreamt about sobchak and chicken as well
Sobchak: Oh I get it.
Sobchak: Wink face
Darth Betty: We BBQ'ed and then..
fallenchicken: wut
Snuggles: lol
Snuggles: chicken do you use a tube sock or an ankle sock?
Darth Betty: We listened to 80's music while torturing ehsan with cottage cheese
Snuggles: lol
Sobchak: Betty, master of erotica.
Snuggles: i know im turned on
Darth Betty: No, thats Salo
Darth Betty: He can gay up an antfarm in a good way
Snuggles: salo?
Snuggles: master of erotica?
Sobchak: lol
Snuggles: bahahahaha!

[pano]

bit rude

[Darth Snuggles]

I thought antfarms were already pretty gay anyway...

[Qual]

[quote=""Darth Snuggles""]I thought antfarms were already pretty gay anyway...[/quote]
bit rude

[Sobchak]

Mitch Hedberg: I had a antfarm once. Them fellas didn't grow shit!
Sobchak: lol.