stories from vent

[Sigmarsson]

[quote=""PeepsMcJuggs""][quote=""Sigmarsson""]Yeah you cant just have the sex upfront, you must buy the hooker and go through the trouble of dancing with her for abit while smiling at the trashy girl you want to fuck. Then it all comes together.[/quote]

I want to meet the guys who are writing these "How to Pick Up Skanks" self-help books Ehsan's buying. Clearly they're making bank.[/quote]

I'm pretty sure Ehsans mom taught him everything he knows.



[spoiler:22d1tgee]Dammmmnnnnnnnn[/spoiler:22d1tgee]

[Darth Snuggles]

[quote=""Ethite""][quote=""PeepsMcJuggs""][quote=""Sigmarsson""]Yeah you cant just have the sex upfront, you must buy the hooker and go through the trouble of dancing with her for abit while smiling at the trashy girl you want to fuck. Then it all comes together.[/quote]

I want to meet the guys who are writing these "How to Pick Up Skanks" self-help books Ehsan's buying. Clearly they're making bank.[/quote]

They're the same pimps that own the escorts he hires. [/quote]
Probably own all the night clubs too.

[Lady Gettyburg]

[quote=""Sigmarsson""][quote=""Darth Snuggles""][quote=""GoBetty""]I have an idea.. why not just pay $150 and a limo ride to the club trash girl and fuck her? It's more upfront and rewarding i bet. If she's as shallow as it sounds like, you have a pet for life right there.[/quote]
Betty you've clearly never been to a club before, you don't know how this works.

You don't know how women think at all![/quote]

Yeah you cant just have the sex upfront, you must buy the hooker and go through the trouble of dancing with her for abit while smiling at the trashy girl you want to fuck. Then it all comes together.[/quote]

Yeah you're right. This is way out of my league.

I see how it's done now. Buy a hooker, smile at a girl, dance casually with the girl while checking out all other girls. Steal a drink from a latino friend. Ignore ALL the girls and go home alone.

BINGO!

Now you're gonna get so much dick sucked you might end up in another galaxy, far far away.

[Sigmarsson]

[quote=""GoBetty""]Yeah you're right. This is way out of my league.

I see how it's done now. Buy a hooker, smile at a girl, dance casually with the girl while checking out all other girls. Steal a drink from a latino friend. Ignore ALL the girls and go home alone.

BINGO!

Now you're gonna get so much dick sucked you might end up in another galaxy, far far away.[/quote]

Now you get it bra! You should see my moves though... I was talking with my buddy over some beers that I mooched from him (of course) when some girls walked in and started telling us about the amazing night they had at the clubs n shit.

Well i just ignored them and left without saying goodbye! Now they're ALL suckin on my damn dick like leeches! I had to buy a baseball bat just to hit them off when it was time to get some new bitches in

[Darth Snuggles]

[quote=""GoBetty""]Now you're gonna get so much dick sucked you might end up in another galaxy, far far away.[/quote]

I know when I suck dick, I'm always creating tears in the space-time continuum.

[Lady Gettyburg]

[quote=""Darth Snuggles""][quote=""GoBetty""]Now you're gonna get so much dick sucked you might end up in another galaxy, far far away.[/quote]

I know when I suck dick, I'm always creating tears in the space-time continuum.[/quote]

Same here darling, once when i sucked a dick i sucked it so good the guy ended up in a diffrent reality where he was a T-rex and i was a mushroom.

[Burnetto]

[quote=""GoBetty""][quote=""Darth Snuggles""][quote=""GoBetty""]Now you're gonna get so much dick sucked you might end up in another galaxy, far far away.[/quote]

I know when I suck dick, I'm always creating tears in the space-time continuum.[/quote]

Same here darling, once when i sucked a dick i sucked it so good the guy ended up in a diffrent reality where he was a T-rex and i was a mushroom.[/quote]

This made me splutter some noodles

[Pewps]

Sure is stories from vent in here.

[Lady Gettyburg]

[quote=""Pewps""]Sure is stories from vent in here.[/quote]

It's a long story. Perhaps the best story ever! It's gonna take a long time before we can move on from that one.

[PeepsMcJuggs]

[quote=""GoBetty""]It's a long story. Perhaps the best story ever! It's gonna take a long time before we can move on from that one.[/quote]

You should make an Ehsan's Story from Vent thread, sticky it, and see how quickly it outpaces the stories from vent thread.

[Sigmarsson]

[quote=""PeepsMcJuggs""][quote=""GoBetty""]It's a long story. Perhaps the best story ever! It's gonna take a long time before we can move on from that one.[/quote]

You should make an Ehsan's Story from Vent thread, sticky it, and see how quickly it outpaces the stories from vent thread.[/quote]

That will all depend on whether we're lucky enough to be logged in when he comes on. I'm almost positive that he doesn't even bother to check if anyone is on before he goes into one of his narcissistic rants.

[PeepsMcJuggs]

[quote=""Sigmarsson""]That will all depend on whether we're lucky enough to be logged in when he comes on. I'm almost positive that he doesn't even bother to check if anyone is on before he goes into one of his narcissistic rants.[/quote]

Somebody should make a bot to automatically respond to him and log his stories.

"No way!"

"That many girls? Shiiiiiiit!"

"You're the man, Ehsan!"

[Sobchak]

Temporarily locked because all y'all stories is weak as FUCK.

[pano]

Sobchak: SUCK ME, BEAUTIFUL


edit:

chickenrising: SALO
chickenrising: WTF Is with your Martial LAw
chickenrising: Unlock the vent thread

I am a slave to chicken's will.

[swtordays]

ebado: ebado cut his beard
ebado: I think I'm done with them
MudRat: I saw someone that looked like ebado yesterday, I was laughing at some kid that tripped and landed hard at my feet and he told me it was rude to laugh
MudRat: made it even more amusing
ebado: I wouldn't have said anything. I would have walked on by with a glazed look in my eyes
Fipps: ladies don't seem to like the beards
MudRat: if they do, grel is in trouble

[Lady Gettyburg]

Fox: lol people usually just read the title and post (i have been guilty of this when its mass chunks of text)
'Fox' has joined the chat.
Fox: ><
Fox: and its still laggy
Fox: what have i done to you internet? what?!
Fox: I was happy Darka got the thread and rolled with it
GoBetty: You have done bad things Fox
Fox: yeah this is true
GoBetty: Like denying bank access to half the selkath in a powertrip of Grandiose delusions. Yes
'Fox' has left the chat.
GoBetty: Wow bank. I HATE YOU!
GoBetty: LOL
GoBetty: omg what have i done!! I AM YOUR FATHER!
'Sobchak' has joined the chat.
Sigmarsson: fox?
'Fox' has joined the chat.
Sigmarsson: did fox leave
Sigmarsson: there he is

[Darth Snuggles]

Sobchak: Chicken is prettier than I imagined.
MudRat: chciken, I've seen better pictures of you than that
MudRat: not to say a chicken picture isn't a gift from the nordic gods
MudRat: ...nordic joke.
Sobchak: fuck Nords. ~ Elder Scrolls IV
Snuggs: hes not as fowl as i had envisioned
MudRat: actually, Bloodmoon was an incredible expansion
MudRat: I loved the werewolf thing
Sobchak: lol snooglet.
MudRat: Dr. Badpun checking in a patient

[Qual]

not as fowl

[Sobchak]

[quote=""Darth Snuggles""]Sobchak: Chicken is prettier than I imagined.
MudRat: chciken, I've seen better pictures of you than that
MudRat: not to say a chicken picture isn't a gift from the nordic gods
MudRat: ...nordic joke.
Sobchak: fuck Nords. ~ Elder Scrolls IV
Snuggs: hes not as fowl as i had envisioned
MudRat: actually, Bloodmoon was an incredible expansion
MudRat: I loved the werewolf thing
Sobchak: lol snooglet.
MudRat: Dr. Badpun checking in a patient[/quote]

Sobchak: Fox looks like John Wayne and Edward Cullen adopted an ugly child.
Fox: HAHA
fallenchicken: lol
Fox: i could see that
fallenchicken: do me do me
MudRat: ~ Ehsn

[Lady Gettyburg]

[quote=""Sobchak""]Sobchak: Fox looks like John Wayne and Edward Cullen adopted an ugly child.
Fox: HAHA
fallenchicken: lol
Fox: i could see that
fallenchicken: do me do me
MudRat: ~ Ehsn[/quote]

LOL!

*steamboat*

[fallenchicken]

[quote=""Darth Snuggles""]Sobchak: Chicken is prettier than I imagined.
MudRat: chciken, I've seen better pictures of you than that
MudRat: not to say a chicken picture isn't a gift from the nordic gods
MudRat: ...nordic joke.
Sobchak: fuck Nords. ~ Elder Scrolls IV
Snuggs: hes not as fowl as i had envisioned
MudRat: actually, Bloodmoon was an incredible expansion
MudRat: I loved the werewolf thing
Sobchak: lol snooglet.
MudRat: Dr. Badpun checking in a patient[/quote]

I'm glad you guys think I am pretty, maybe now I'll get some god damn respect!

[Ethite]

11/22 23:29:40 Fox: later!
11/22 23:29:42 'Fox' has left the chat.
11/22 23:29:42 MudRat: no
11/22 23:29:45 MudRat: fuck
11/22 23:29:59 Pewps: i gotta go too :[
11/22 23:30:03 Pewps: collage
11/22 23:30:04 MudRat: no!
11/22 23:30:09 Pewps: hey guess what
11/22 23:30:14 MudRat: what
11/22 23:30:15 'Pewps' has left the chat.

[Sigmarsson]

[quote=""Ethite""]11/22 23:29:40 Fox: later!
11/22 23:29:42 'Fox' has left the chat.
11/22 23:29:42 MudRat: no
11/22 23:29:45 MudRat: fuck
11/22 23:29:59 Pewps: i gotta go too :[
11/22 23:30:03 Pewps: collage
11/22 23:30:04 MudRat: no!
11/22 23:30:09 Pewps: hey guess what
11/22 23:30:14 MudRat: what
11/22 23:30:15 'Pewps' has left the chat.[/quote]

Fox: im logging to watch Walking Dead and/or sleep
Fox: later!
'Fox' has left the chat.
MudRat: no
MudRat: fuck
Pewps: i gotta go too :[
Pewps: collage
MudRat: no!
Pewps: hey guess what
MudRat: what
'Pewps' has left the chat.
MudRat: fag
'MudRat' has left the chat.
'Fipps' has joined the chat.
'Fox' has joined the chat.
Fox: bah wheres rat!?
'Fox' has left the chat.
'Fipps' has left the chat.

[Ethite]

Fuck.

[Lady Gettyburg]

Bet Sigmar will be really pissed for reals when he see's this.

GoBetty: Lol well you knew it was icy, you slipped and it has been icy for two days. I still say you're crazy as fuck.
Sigmarsson: yeah yeah ill switch the tires on my day off
GoBetty: "Over the last two days the entire island has turned into a frozen desert, but being from Alberta I thought no biggy… I’m pro at driving in the winter."
GoBetty: If you dont kill yourself you will eventually kill someone else, its just reckless as fuck
Sigmarsson: i shovelled a bunch of snow into the back of my truck for weight
Sigmarsson: OKAY
GoBetty: OKAY!
GoBetty: Fucker, now i saved your life and some cute mom with a newborns life. You can thank me later.
Sigmarsson: i work all day dont have time to switch my tires
Sigmarsson: argh
GoBetty: What are you doing now?
Sigmarsson: getting ready for work
GoBetty: Work hard i bet?
GoBetty: Oh yeah
Sigmarsson: ill do it tonight for fuck sakes
GoBetty: Good
GoBetty: It takes 10 minutes to change the tires so i bet you can squeeze it in
GoBetty: 20 if you need to crawl around outdoors
Sigmarsson: im not pro at changing tires like you so it takes a little longer
GoBetty: Tire iron, extra long pipe or muscles. Loose ALL the bolts just a little, place all tires next to the tire you're changing. Jack, lift, speed dial the pizzeria, SWOSH SWOSH get it done before the pizza is done.
Sigmarsson: but like i said ill do it tonight, happy yes?
Sigmarsson: i have to fetch the winter tires from the attic in the garage too
GoBetty: Yes im happy. I cant stand irresponsible people who think they're pro at something if they cant even stand on their own feet without slipping
Sigmarsson: come on
Sigmarsson: i was joking
GoBetty: You shouldnt get mad at me, im telling the truth
Sigmarsson: you're getting mad at me and i was joking, no im not "pro" at driving, yes i fucked up and havent switched my tires
Sigmarsson: i thought going slow until i get the time to switch them would be okay
Sigmarsson: obviously it wasnt
GoBetty: Yeah yeah now you just get mad because you feel guilty. Im like an annoying parent here
GoBetty: Nothing to get worked up over
Sigmarsson: of course i feel guilty now that i realize i couldve fucked someone else up
GoBetty: Go clean your room!
Sigmarsson: i didnt think of that before
Sigmarsson: ok stop it
GoBetty: ok ok
Sigmarsson: mom
GoBetty: Im gonna be an awesome mom, i feel i have this in my genes.
Sigmarsson: of course you will be
GoBetty: Spreading guilt like butter over a newly slapped ass.