Fuck me, I'm not reading that shit.
[quote=""ebado""]A Sneaky Ithorian: I'm watching Alf.
A Sneaky Ithorian: because thats where I am in my life.
ebado: I spoke for three hours today about dolphin conspiracies. That's where I am in my life.
Sobchak: What kind of conspiracies? Like how Dolphins want to kill us?
ebado: Yes.
ebado: I believe they are smarter than we realize.
ebado: And we need to stop alienating killer whales because they are our strongest ally in the ocean.
Sobchak: lol
ebado: But at the same time, the blue whale holds all sorts of power in the ocan and are likely to ally with the dolphins if a war breaks out
Sobchak: They kill for fun, ebado
ebado: Due to their long-standing feud with orcas.
ebado: I know.
Sobchak: and try to rape our women.
ebado: They play with corpses, too.
Sobchak: and beat their babies.
Sobchak: The world needs to know this
ebado: Bottle nosed dolphins fashion sponge plants into armor for their nose.
ebado: No joke.
Sobchak: Well we have harpoons, bottle nosed fuckers
Sobchak: Humans who use sponges for armor are laughed at
Sobchak: Because only a moron species SUCH AS YOURSELVES would think that effective!
ebado: You shoot your harpoon while three other dolphins circle around behind you and rip your body apart.
Sobchak: Not from a boat! Wait for them to come to the surface
Sobchak: With their fuckin spongenoses
ebado: Dolphins have sunk multiple ships.
Sobchak: Not a ship built to kill dolphins
ebado: Not as massive as the ships that sperm whales have been able to sink, but big ships.
ebado: By the way, in the military's tests to use dolphins as bomb deliverers
Sobchak: I'm not afrad of dolphins. They're still too stupid in "The Cove" to be taken seriously... yet.
ebado: Hundreds of bombs disappeared.
A Sneaky Ithorian: well
Sobchak: lmao. Shit. They're probably stockpiling
ebado: I believe the dolphins are stockpiling the bombs.
Sobchak: I bet they go and fetch every gun thrown in the ocean, too
ebado: Umm, no.
ebado: They don't have hands
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Sobchak: Yet.
ebado: And only limited mind control technology
Sobchak: You underestimate dolphin's force of will
ebado: I underestimate nothing.
Sobchak: Then you better believe they'll get hands if they need them
ebado: That's why my apartment is built on a floatable hull
ebado: For when the dolphins come for me.
ebado: And try to sink my apartment.
Sobchak: I just realized I live on the first floor
ebado: Safer in the long run.
ebado: Can get to a floatable area quicker.
Sobchak: Only 420 feet above sea level.
ebado: If you have to jump out the window, the dolphins will find you faster.
Sobchak: I just hope they haven't acquired the schematics to dams in the Pacific Northwest yet.
ebado: Perhaps snatch you out of the air.
ebado: Like they need them.
ebado: They have tunnels in Puget Sound stretching to Montana.
Sobchak: So where should we move civilization, ebado?
Sobchak: At least the women and children
ebado: I'd say the air, but the Loch Ness monster is supposed to take to the air again sometime in 2011.
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A Sneaky Ithorian: k no way am I taking a class from a woman with the last name of O'Greldy.
salo: me neither
salo: sounds like a bitch
ebado: Sobchak, the best bet is in the Pacific Northwest and Antartic.
ebado: Where our orca allies can protect us.
A Sneaky Ithorian: salo
A Sneaky Ithorian: Im going to study abroad and live with Qual and his missus.
Sobchak: The Pacific Northwest would never ally against Whales
Sobchak: er, Dolphins
ebado: You will.
ebado: You will.
Sobchak: or any whale that decides to ally with Dolphins
Sobchak: I'm just a maverick, ebado. I'm not restrained to the order of things up here.
Sobchak: A rough past, etc.
salo: Is there immiment threat of Dolphin invasion?
Sobchak: The locals will never agree to it.
ebado: When the dolphins sink Seattle and carry off the people to torture them in their Mariana Trench cities
ebado: You will turn to the orcas for help.
Sobchak: I doubt it. They'd never risk the lives of lost of either species
Sobchak: instead using puny nets.
salo: I will move to the desert. Dolphin land-raiding parties won't be able to make it too far inland.
A Sneaky Ithorian: I like how salo doesn't believe that Im studying abroad in Melbourne. :/
Sobchak: We need to invest in stock for a net-making company.
ebado: You obviously do ot have much experience in orca relations
ebado: LOL @ salo believing the tunnels don't exist.
salo: Grel, when are you coming?
A Sneaky Ithorian: In the summer
salo: yours or mine?
A Sneaky Ithorian: The summer.
Sobchak: ebado, it's not about orca relations, it's about the desire to bring violence to orcas
salo: lol
ebado: You will change your mind.
ebado: They are the only option to defend against the blow hole motherfuckers
ebado: The dolphin motherfucker
ebado: sss
Fox: I can get you guys an in with sea world
Sobchak: I already feel sorry for Seattle
salo: Surely we can insight some sort of fish-revolt?
Sobchak: Not really though, Seattle is full of hipsters.
ebado: salo, the fish aren't helpful.
ebado: The dolphins and their blue whale allies will simply eat the fish.
ebado: We need the orcas, the only weapon against the two
Sobchak: I don't even want to know what they have planned for Starbucks
salo: Sharks?
Sobchak: or the Space Needle
Sobchak: Sharks won't ally with anyone
salo: They're big fish.
ebado: The sharks don't know what's going on.
salo: The Future has crocs too
ebado: Crocodiles are too stupid.
salo: hmm
ebado: Viscious, but no intelligence.
Sobchak: Dolphins with the space needle... human kebabs
salo: so we're on our own?
ebado: NO
salo: Orcas
ebado: The orcas want to help.
salo: got it
ebado: It's just fucking conservative asshat speciesist like Sobchak keeping it from happening
salo: The good will from freeing Willy is still lingering in their everyday media
Sobchak: Conservative? You tool.
Sobchak: It's liberal.
Sobchak: Laff laff
ebado: Willy is dead.
Sobchak: WILLY IS FROM PORTLAND
ebado: Died in Norway in 2003.
Sobchak: YOU EAT SHIT
ebado: Willy is from Iceland, asshat.
Sobchak: Buddy he lived in Portland
Sobchak: under the name KEIKO
salo: guys, guys!
salo: The DOLPHINS are the enemy!
ebado: Born in Iceland, dickcunt.
salo: Stay focussed.
Sobchak: Okay dick, people are born lots of places but where do they cfall their hometown?
Sobchak: Where they grew up
Sobchak: So you got choke on a Dolphin dick
ebado: FUCK HAT
Sobchak: YOU GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE
ebado: Willy grew up in Iceland
Sobchak: YOUR PLANS ARE WRECKLESS
ebado: Ontario
ebado: And Mexico fucking city
ebado: And then wen't to Portland.
ebado: I went to St. Louis once. Am I from Missouri?
A Sneaky Ithorian: If Mexico has a city why doesn't New Mexico have a New Mexico city?
salo: Grel, who's summer?!
A Sneaky Ithorian: The Summer.
salo: US/Aus?
Sobchak: Well he lived in Oregon for like 10 years. So if you lived in St. Louis for half your life I'd say you could say you were from there.
Fox: theres only one summer salo
A Sneaky Ithorian:
http://benaxelrad.files.wordpress.com/2 ... hanel2.jpg
ebado: Fuck the shit off, dolphinfucker.
Fox: the Australian summer is a myth
A Sneaky Ithorian: that summer
salo: mmurican summer?
Sobchak: You eat shit and diebado
salo: salo prefer Autumn
salo:

ebado: Chak
ebado: Here's the deal.
ebado: You need to stop being so close-minded.
salo:
http://swtor.com/community/showthread.php?t=137634
ebado: @salo: ebado's favorite season is fall.
Sobchak: ebado, you're assuming. I'm letting you in on the realities of the situation
salo: yep, Autumn.
Sobchak: Fall sucks, too
Sobchak: You're a moron
ebado: I'M ASSUMING NOTHING
A Sneaky Ithorian: Im a fan of spring
ebado: I'VE SEEN THE DESTRUCTION
A Sneaky Ithorian: Spring in Oregon is wonderfulllllz
ebado: I'VE SEEN THE BODIES
ebado: I'VE SEEN THE CITIES
Sobchak: I like spring, but I don't like shirtless frisbee players...
ebado: I KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.
A Sneaky Ithorian: think I'll win a trip with alisha keyes to Africa?
salo: No.
Sobchak: I don't doubt you've seen the horrors, but your mind is clouded now. It will take a lot of deliberation and convincing to get the Pacific Northwest to agree to Orca involvement
Sobchak: Also, what cities?
salo: THE cities.
Sobchak: I need to know which! I might have family there.
ebado: CHAK
Sobchak: I haven't heard from them in awhile, I need to know they're okay. And I'm too lazy to call myself
ebado: THE FUCKING CITIES IN THE TRENCH
Sobchak: Atlantis?
salo: lol
Sobchak: Atlanta?*
ebado: lol @ your human-centric thought process.
salo: I made a twitter today
Sobchak: lol @ your batshit plans to get everyone killed
ebado: And subsequently creeped on me and troybrynelson?
ebado: MY PLAN IS THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE HUMANITY
Sobchak: You're the cop who decided it was best to leave the library in The Day After Tomorrow, ebado
salo: i didn't search for anyone
Sobchak: and lead TENS of people to their frozen deaths
ebado: FUCK YOU
ebado: FUCK YOU
ebado: I stayed in the damn library.
salo: hahaha
Sobchak: That's a fucking lie. I didn't see you there
ebado: And fucked Emmy Rossum until our bodies froze together.
Sobchak: But I was cuddling up to my boner classmate
Sobchak: NO FUCK YOU
ebado: FUCK YOU
Sobchak: Clearly you were hallucinating while you froze brittle in the snow
Sobchak: and thought you were me, Jake Gyllenhaal
ebado: The only thing that was brittle was my frozen cock stuck in Emmy's cunt.
salo: should I follow you guys?
salo: salosheep
Sobchak: If by Emmy you mean that old rich lady you pitied yourself into sleeping with under the freezing Manhattan Bridge
Sobchak: er, Brooklyn bridge. Er, fuck
ebado: Keep telling herself that.
ebado: She was in heat,
ebado: And let me tell you, I would have got her pregnant
ebado: Had her eggs not frozen.
Sobchak: Dolphins would have ate them
Sobchak: ate your babies and beat them
Sobchak: with their fucking dolphin tail clobbering
ebado: And I would have lived peacefully with Emmy
ebado: And you would be hanging out with that black nerd.
Sobchak: You've been long frozen, ebado
Sobchak: and Emmy with me being rescued by my dad, Dennis Quaid
Sobchak: You leave kid-who-played-Allen-Strange out of this
ebado: You are so fucking delusional
Sobchak: Bah. Get the fuck outta here
salo: I just stalked you both.
Sobchak: I'm the only one here making any sort of sense.
ebado: You get the fuck out.
salo: redirect your hate
salo: at salo
Sobchak: I won't get the fuck out until you get the fuck out.
ebado: Get the fuck out
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ebado: FUCKING KICKED, BITCHED
ebado: BITCHED*
A Sneaky Ithorian: :/
salo: ebado
A Sneaky Ithorian: hes not coming back
ebado: BITCH**
A Sneaky Ithorian: you're a mean bado
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A Sneaky Ithorian: you should rethink your life choises.
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ebado: KICKD
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salo: lol
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ebado: KICKED
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Sobchak: STAY OUT
A Sneaky Ithorian: Or maybe gay intercourse
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ebado: KICKED
A Sneaky Ithorian: enlightening
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A Sneaky Ithorian: lol!
Sobchak: THE DOLPHINS ARE WINNING FOOL
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ebado: KICKED
A Sneaky Ithorian: you'd do that to a hamster?
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ebado: FUCKER
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Sobchak: I HATE SAND
ebado: We need to stop this.
salo: yes
ebado: We are better than this.
ebado: At least I am.
salo: (now's your chance, Sobchak)
ebado: Fucker.
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Sobchak: I almost let you in
ebado: My heart is closed to you.
Sobchak: This is what the dolphins want, you fuck.
salo: oh, lets all regurgitate salo's advice from 15 minutes ago
A Sneaky Ithorian: salo kick them both.
salo: salo doesn't kick
ebado: salo gets kicked
ebado: Am I joking?
ebado: Yeah, I am.
salo: with great power, comes great responsibility, grel
Sobchak: Nobody named salo is following me
salo: I asked if I should
ebado: You can follow me if you want.
A Sneaky Ithorian: Ive followed chak more times than usual in the last week or so
ebado: I don't mind.
salo: it's done
Sobchak: Grel assaulted me on campus the other day
salo: tryobry and his weird shark, tedbad and his :great hair:
ebado: salo
salo: tryo?
ebado: I am forever your first follower.
salo: Yes?
salo: lol
salo: yesss
salo: 1 follower!
Sobchak: First the worst second the best.
salo: ebado, I wouldn't expect much more than weekly updates about my team, and maybe something offensive every now and then.

salo: I need a background
salo: Sobchak
ebado: Sobchak, drop it.
ebado: Our feud is over.
salo: wait, I'll tweet it, Sobchak
Sobchak: I'll drop it when I say it's over.
Sobchak: ... and now. Done.[/quote]